Self-responsibility is one of the key factors that will assist you to change your life.
However, the majority of people do not take full responsibility for their life and, whether unconsciously or consciously, they give the responsibility for their life to other people or to organisations. They then ‘wake up’ from this state and find themselves depressed and anxious. They don’t know what’s happened to their life but this is often because they’ve given the responsibility for the way they live away to others. Self-responsibility is key.
1 – When we take radical self-responsibility we give our life purpose and meaning. We are no longer contracting it out to other people and therefore we feel empowered rather than feeling as though people have power over us.
2 – By taking radical self-responsibility for our life and sitting in the driving seat we take back control and this enables us to feel empowered rather than feeling that people have power over us.
3 – You’re not a passenger, you’re in control, so do not allow yourself to be dragged around by other people. When we place ourselves in the passenger seat we become disempowered as we are waiting for other people to make choices and decisions that may benefit us. There may be times when it doesn’t help or benefit you but once you have given that responsibility away then that’s the choice that you have made and people will make decisions on your behalf. Therefore, you have to be mindful of whether you have consciously or unconsciously given away your power.
4 – Being in control is incredibly good for your self-esteem. At times it can feel baffling when you don’t know how to make it or you’re not sure of the way forward, but there will be other times when it is easier. Remember, only you can have your best interest at heart. Other people cannot do that for you so when you take control of your life it means you must make choices even though there will be times when you won’t want to make those choices. However, when we choose not to make a decision, we are still making a choice either way. Why not take control to feel empowered and have a sense of governance over your life?
5 – The benefit from taking radical self-responsibility for your life is that the glory and the failings are all yours. You are responsible and there’s no one else who is accountable, it is on your shoulders. Despite mentioning glory and failings, in my view, there is no failure, only feedback. I either win or I learn, and that is the psychology that I subscribe to. This enables me to always learn from difficult situations and to apply that new knowledge in the new directions I take.
6 – The sixth benefit of radical self-responsibility is that you have no one to blame, it’s on your shoulders. That may not be helpful for all as some people like to blame and curse everybody else, which means you get off the hook. Now, if you’re someone who doesn’t like to take full responsibility for your actions, or who likes to blame others, this will be a challenge. However, if you want to fulfil your potential and do not want to depend on the assistance of others, then not passing blaming is going to be beneficial to you because you now know that all the answers lay within.
7 – Becoming self-reliant is incredibly important for your self-esteem because we know that if we put ourselves in a tricky situation then we also have the potential to get ourselves out of that same situation. By becoming self-reliant you are not dependent on other people and their desires or their whims. Sometimes people will say yes, and other times they will say no. Humans are inherently selfish and we do things to serve our own needs so when you become self-reliant you are focusing on your own needs and not contracting out our responsibility to other people. In the future, this is good for your self-esteem, although it may mean that life can be a little bit trickier initially and you may have more ups and downs. However, you will have the ability to live an empowered life rather than to become and remain someone who must continuously adapt and shift shape when other people or other organisations change their mind.
8 – The eighth benefit of radical self-responsibility is that you learn to develop confidence in yourself as you continuously expose yourself to different situations and opportunities that you wouldn’t have done if you were dependent or not taking responsibility for your life. As you encounter new experiences and get out of your comfort zone, you grow as a human being and your comfort zone expands. You develop a new “normal”, which in the long run will help you develop your confidence. If you ever want to test that out, go back to being with people who you used to be with when you weren’t taking radical self-responsibility for your life and you’ll notice that there will now be anomalies between you. As you develop and get access to their mindset you’ll begin to see how you’ve shifted.
9 – You will start to think differently. This can be beneficial but can also mean that there will sometimes be relationship casualties as people won’t necessarily like the new you that emerges. Remember, some people benefit from you being dependent upon them and once you start to sever those ties they will be uncomfortable and often demand that you go back to your old self. If we have people who leech and drain from us then this can be a potential threat to self-responsibility. For example, if you have a mother that smothers you or who doesn’t let you grow up then this evolvement of radical self-responsibility is going to challenge your relationship with her and the dynamic will change. We sometimes have to be careful because some people want us to remain as our old self. Taking self-responsibility and honouring your own uniqueness and the new you that emerges will allow you to become different. However, whilst that may be great for you, there will be relationship casualties as people demand you go back to your old self where you were reliant on them and or others.
10 – Sometimes our esteem is attached to relationships, people, even items, but when we take radical self-responsibility for our lives there is a pride that can develop within that no one can take away.