In this article
In the main, what tends to happen is that we need to go on repeating vicious cycles until it becomes a bore, it hurts too much, or we hit our personal rock bottom. At this point, the pain kickstarts serious self-reflection, questioning and, most importantly, meaningful action. The same ol’, same ol’ no longer works and we would rather risk change than wither and die in sameness. We want out! The wheels are about to be set in motion.
Remember, we create our reality by the small choices that we make each day.
We often create our pain, we screw ourselves over, sell ourselves short, and have the audacity to blame others – when we co-created the very situation that hurts. We ignored the warning signs, lied to ourselves and distorted reality for a fantasy we have in our minds.
We live in hope, yet its hopeless hope and if we are not careful, we can end up making ourselves ill.
People seem to struggle to accept this truth as reality, and some get annoyed and defensive. However, I find it rather freeing to know that if I create my misery, then I am also at liberty to change it. Is that not a gift? We have the power! People who are resistant to this truth like to believe that things happen to them. They don’t think they play a part and miss all the small nuanced decisions and behaviours of their own that have brought about their pain and suffering.
Is ignorance really bliss? Well, I don’t think so, but it does have its benefits.
Extract is taken from my book: Why love hurts (and why self-love is the key), available in my store!
Arrange a free consultation call with Keeley. A relaxed, honest conversation, not a sales pitch.
Psychotherapist and founder of Key for Change, with over twenty years working with narcissistic dynamics, including thirteen in the criminal justice system.
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