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Personal Growth & Moving Forward3 min read

Am I desperate for love?

Are you desperate for love? Are you single and looking for love? Ensure you're going in to a healthy relationship and not just 'for the sake of it'!

Am I desperate for love?

Three signs you’re desperate for love…

Are you single and looking for love? Then this video is for you.

The first sign is that you lower your standards. The person you are dating may be exhibiting behaviour that is selfish and leaves you slightly baffled about what you really want. But because you’re so desperate for love you ignore the warning signs and push your thoughts to one side, spurred by the fear of being on your own. Ultimately, you believe a bad relationship is better than no relationship.

When we lower our standards we are allowing this nonsense to take over our thought process! If you don’t confront issues early on, it will be far trickier to address problems once the relationship is established and you’ve grown attached. And ladies, if you’ve got ‘dickmatized’ during that process, it can be even trickier to sever that bond.

Secondly, you go above and beyond to please a potential love interest by presenting yourself as 10 out of 10 every single day in order to make yourself desirable. This is unachievable and you are simply setting yourself up to fail.

When we go above and beyond, it may be because we are trying to prove something to somebody or trying to make ourselves the best possible option for that person. This is unachievable and by doing so we give off a scent of desperation which can easily be picked up on. If you are not mindful of this then you can drop into the hands of manipulative and controlling people looking to trade on your vulnerability for their own ends.

Third, you say yes to everything. Making yourself ‘always available’ and dropping your own plans with other friends to accommodate your new love interest will cause you problems and annoy your existing friends by making them feel that they’re not a priority in your life.

When people forget everybody else and become purely focused on the person they are currently in a romantic relationship with, friendships can break down. And if the relationship comes to an end you’ll find yourself alone. You may also find that you lose your own identity in the process, which can cause problems in the future. So, if you’re someone who is always saying yes and are always available, you’re likely to get into a pattern of ‘people pleasing’ that individual.

When we people-please it’s particularly dangerous as we end up saying ‘yes, yes, yes’ to them and ultimately ‘no’ to ourselves.

Again, this is a factor that leads to desperation, depression and anxiety because we become separate from our authentic self. And that is never good for us.

Would you like to discuss anything I have talked about here? Get in touch by booking a free 15-minute exploration call with me or browse and enrol in one of my events and workshops. If you think you may already be dating a narcissist – a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves – my workbooks will help you and your situation.

Would you like to talk it through?

Arrange a free consultation call with Keeley. A relaxed, honest conversation, not a sales pitch.

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Personal Growth & Moving ForwardThoughts of the day
Keeley Taverner
Keeley Taverner
BACP-accredited psychotherapist · Key for Change · Marlow, Uxbridge and online

Psychotherapist and founder of Key for Change, with over twenty years working with narcissistic dynamics, including thirteen in the criminal justice system.

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